Rewiring the System


A Reason For Pain?

Posted in Uncategorized by rewiringangel on February 19, 2009

It is a miracle, here I am, at the crisis edge.  Since I cannot think and all I do is sleep.  Today I went to the police station to get my report for the powers, doctors and lawyers and bears Oh My!  Primarily I went out to pick up my prescriptions from the second doctor.  Boy do I need a new doctor.  My aches and pains are getting more intense especially where the seat belt held me from flying through the windshield.  I was fully stopped at the cross walk for a clearly visible pedestrian and the powder purple car behind me choose to speed up and crashed into my back.  I have shock! (What is Shock?) Doctor 1 told me it is my body shutting down.  I will see Dr. # 1 tomorrow afternoon.  One place where the seat belt held my middle hurts with every breath.  This is new today. This particular pain woke me up this morning so it came on foggy kitten feet in the night or something that Carl Sandberg might scribble. Some say the world will end in Fire, some say in ice, of what I have tasted of desire I hold with those who favor fire but if I have to perish twice then Ice would be nice. I seem to get worse every day.  Four days that were in Bed, yea how bad is this? The Police here in Berkeley are all highly educated and at one time were entertaining that I might take the chaplain training to work along with the men in blue, so I got to know people in the building.  This is one of the joys of smaller town America. I can know people in every stratum here by their first name.  Now I cannot remember names but that may be important when I get out of bed. The woman behind the glass at the Police station was very nice and wanted to know some of my story and smile and was really pleasant and after all the exchange of numbers she said something very nice to me:  Nothing Happens Without A Reason.  WOW! Though I cannot see the reason at this point I am relieved that it is not just gray jello with no gelatinous purpose and no one to delight in eating or even tasting the gray shaky glob.  There is a rising sun a clarity and special something next out of this mess.  I felt like a blanket was lifted from my eyes. What a sweet policewoman!  Then I asked her if she saw a Nice Strong Policeman in my future?  We had a great laugh together.  I opened to walking away from the stagnation and into where I am in time and space.  I may wake up to tomorrow and see the situations in progress. On the Drive to the BIL just after the accident I saw three rainbows big and deep and tall covering a double curve in the sky. It was grounded as though the pot of dreams was there just beyond the trees.  My driving companion Steve S. can confirm the truth of the rainbows. The first blessing from the universe is a note I received from a great student of the truth in its immaterial form.  I felt the digital hug all the way and I sobbed with the power of interconnectedness. She sent me a utube clip getting me to realize that no one no matter how knowledgeable knows what will happen or why and when. I must get relaxed enough to enjoy the time I have here and now and not try to see the why me story.  I hope the good that is out there arrives for my use now.  A few people see that I do not have obvious physical injuries, and are asking me to ‘be there’ for THEM!  This has been very hurtful.  But, it is so 2009 that instead of seeing how a person can help another that man or woman will ask for the impossible since that will get them off the hook in every way. It is such a drain to ask a person for any help, even the simplest, who only sees how much, is in it for them.  I have no one right now in the three dimensions who will do any dusting or bring me some soup.  Right on!  I know there are people out there but not in my county in this part of the United States.  This has to be true for a whole lot of people.  How did we get so zoned out to the importance of thinking of others as medicine for the whole system.  sigh!

Staying connected by internet is where I got my best warm hug! Something is just around the corner! My computer is working! I am resting, which will let my brain stop being so gray and un un. Posing in front of the Mirror I feel that my eyebrows are moving toward my cheeks, more than simple gravity!  Thank you for all your positive thoughts. I am going to be smarter anon.  Smiles bring Smiles. I am not going to the restaurant with the menu in my hand, but when I am seated, I look over the offering of what is available.  Aches and pains are the reality of the castle that at this moment my wisp of self is struggling to heal and understand.  No agenda no menu but good things are the reason for Life. Remember that nothing happens for no reason.  This is what I have to listen to as I heal.  Thanks!

That I do not control the events of life.

I need to be ready to see things as they are and read the menu rather than have it in my head.  Though I take time to smell the roses and am opened to things as they arise, this physical event has shivered my timbers and rocked my footing.

I need a clean night gown and find no energy to do a wash!  Physical limitations are like being in a cage! What an injustice that my positive thoughts will not do a load of laundry.

I look forward to that time in the future where we have a machine not dissimilar from the telephone or television which takes thoughts and transmits into something solid!

Information Technology Impact !!!  Just a click and I have clean sleeping wear and my sheets are fresh too!  Throw in Mary Poppins as well.  Smile…

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