Rewiring the System


Wrestling With Life

Posted in Uncategorized by rewiringangel on February 22, 2009

Persons who travel in my home movie are pretending and parading as my real life. They are vying for my time and energy again. My mental and physical energy are being drained by my car rear ending causing whiplash and the unrealistic demands of those with no helping hand.” Oh I do not know what would please you” sort of “I have not been able to do much of anything and cannot get to you” for days.

Today I had two friends come a calling. Visitors friends that seemed to make me feel connected to the human race again. Oh, One Kind Favor I Will Ask Of You!  Sing it again B.B. King!

I have a personal issue, which is hampering my healing.

An uninvited situation wants me ‘not’ to be injured. Persons want me to be my old ‘before the rear-ending’ self. I know, you all know, people who come and do a stress factory when you are sick.

I saw this happen last month to my friend the day she returned from  surgery. After all that time in the hospital coming home was shocking enough!  Each of her many children called and did a hungry dinosaur baby who has not eaten in an hour…Waaaaaaaaa on the phone acting all crazy and demanding attention and energy that her pain killer doused brain could not deliver. I know because I delivered meals for two consecutive days and heard the catterwallering first hand.

Now I am in the drama of my own family circle. Too, Too, Tiring to tell…. Not that the members read this blog, but typing the dialogue is beyond beyonanandah, spinning ribbons and all. Love and forgive is good for the brain!

I sit here enjoying the t.v. thought technically the t.v. is buried and I know because attended the funeral last week.  I still have t.v. I can watch both the talk shows about and the pre pre Oscars.

I loved the Wrestler and actually went and saw it twice on the big screen.  I vote for Micky Rourke to win the Oscar for best actor!  I always did love his talent on the screen but this effort is so ‘walking after midnight’ special as make me to want more and more.

The first time I watched this film it was such a taste of a life remembered when wrestling happened on Walnut Street on Saturday afternoons in Philadelphia.  I would take the bus and the subway into the city from my Roosevelt Boulevard foster home alone.  Somehow, I do not remember if I was ever charged to get into the wrestling arena.  It was so very much like the sets of the Wrestler film. Big men in funny costumes doing great scary things with chairs flying and both bouncing off and jumping over the ropes.  I saw those ropes up close and they are stretchy soft stuff made to look like coiled steel. The corners have a puff pillow over the ropes connective triangles.  The sweat and body odor was tangy and created an emotional tension that seemed to escalate into the rafters as the afternoon turned into evening.  It was exciting to see in real color the athleticism  earlier seen on the big black and white home t.v.

The Wrestlers sat in an anti room before the events and sold stuff, which as a child in sixth grade I would have no interest in or use for owning. Those images of the fans getting Polaroid pictures with the ‘stars’ is emblazoned on the oft un-used dendrite tracks within the matrix of those years when I sang myself to sleep.

When the Rock became a phenomenon on the arena scene, I picked up and renewed my early interest in wrestling. I attended his early movies with an avid interest in how he was going to turn his time on the tarp into the big screen. At the bottom core, my interest stemmed from those afternoons on Walnut Street.

I am feeling Mikey Rourhe struggling as though he is struggling with my twisted mixed threads all sheered and frayed. It is his great ability to connect all of us in the theater with our struggles of personal image, values and responsibilities.

We only have one time to live! Maybe we get to see mistakes that we can avoid. Everyone around the table at the after movie junk food and conversation, seemed to have seen a different movie. It was really interesting, to see how people can turn into nine year olds in the face of intense personal scrutiny of their fears and aspirations! The joy of great theater is to hold that mirror up to the inner tar.

Hey, if this does not make good sense attribute it to the gray jello brain rock and roll and the general significant all pervasive pain and injury from the seat belt. I cannot imagine what would have happened if I had not had the habit of seat belt as soon as I get into my seat!

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