Rewiring the System


The First Day

Posted in Uncategorized by rewiringangel on August 6, 2009

When a story has me filled with fear, I know it is what I have to do.  Courage to share my song, I tell myself that I must be opened though this quality often eludes me.  Keep writing, I tell myself, until I can make my story more universally understood. Will any single woman’s story touch a cord in other people? Somehow, I feel that there must be more than one person who has had this experience. Though I have only told my story to a small number of people, it has always been a struggle to talk about my individual unique remembering.  The beginning of life in this body and this path amazes me.

I have been very lucky looking at the long road traveled. The spiritual direction was rich and reflecting color of spinning space diamonds in the sun. Where am I?  I think as I look down the long and winding path I have run, walked, and clawed on my way.

The sun filled the high ceiling room through the tall 24 paned colonial panel double hung windows on the south side of the Reed Street Hospital in Philadelphia PA.  As soon as my eyes crested the maternal enclosure my first thought was, ‘what is this place, where am I now?’ I could clearly see the soft light colored hairs on my Mothers thighs and looked over her knees to see the wall on one side with the shadow of the windows falling on the doorway. My head was turning. I felt as if there was a gentle pulling in concert with a motherly pushing. The top of my head and my eyes were washed in light but my nose and the rest of my head and body were still in the soft darkness that held me in readiness for this moment. Yet, I felt as though I was not in that tunnel long. I felt that I had just entered POPPED! Into this body just before my eyes blinked with delight in my new surroundings. I felt a flying away from the bent legs into a waiting pink cotton cloth. My mind was racing to take it all in. Noticing the gray striped tweedy cuff pant of the man in the room then seeing a white longish jacket hold me upside down and inspect something out of my view.  I remember a joyful sound and I felt perfect. I remember the folded white cap on the woman who wrapped me up in the cloth and placed me in a curved tub thing. It was all so very interesting that it seemed to unfold slowly.

I remember being born into this world on this earth.  How many people reading this remember being born totally recalling every detail?  When I was around 4 or a little younger I was telling my mother the visuals of my birth room and who and what and where and the atmosphere and the furniture and every little detail.  She said, ‘who have you been talking to?’ I answered quizzically, ‘who could I talk to about this since there were only 4 people in the room, the nurse, the doctor and you and me?’

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