Rewiring the System

I Am Singing The Blues

Posted in Uncategorized by rewiringangel on August 23, 2009
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After my major illness in 1980, I was given the Norman Cousins book, Anatomy of an Illness, of the three books he recommends; the anthology of American humor was my favorite. Laughter is a major part of my life now as it was then. I can honestly say that laughter saved my life.

“Invincibility is in oneself, vulnerability in the opponent.” — Sun Tzu

People say to me that I am naive or worse because I see the humor or fun in almost everything. Currently I am having a problem with a person who is cleaning my house.  Every time he is here he breaks something or loses something and has an ‘I did not do it and I do not care’ attitude. There is a hole in my new computer speakers after he dusted them.  I said there is only the two of us in this apartment and I have not reached to touch the speakers. He ignores my comment and says nothing not then and not ever.  He did laundry for two months. I cannot have him do the laundry anymore. Every time there are some stains or things are simply not clean. I went with him and found that he put a tablespoon of detergent into the double loading washer. Somehow, he washed things that were not water safe ruining two sweaters and even more bizarre, ‘losing’ two of my very finest costly pillowcases. He seems not to have the idea that he should replace them.

He crashed my computer , I will not go into the story since it is mind boggling and blew out the modem which he did pay to replace, but he seems not to understand  he caused the inconvenience of my not having the internet for a month.

Last week he actually told me I have too much stuff and he was going to get me to have a life style of HIS choosing. I asked him to take two items out to the central space so that someone who might use them would be able to take them with no cost and he indignantly told me that what I was asking him was against the law and he would not be party to it. The personal organizer for the woman in the apartment across the hall was passing by, in my frustration of wanting the items out of the apartment, I asked her and she said ‘I will be glad to do this for you.’  With just simplicity and a smile it was done! She got a cart and took the items away. I did not see them again.

He does ‘things’ on my behalf that I do not ask him to do. In fact, I told him not to speak for me to the building staff yet he does. The head of maintenance actually told me after he left, that he ‘would not be able to talk that way if he worked for Sears or any business, he would be out of a job.’ The kicker is that he reprimands me for showing him that his behavior was not like the woman from across the hall and he might try to replicate her words and actions. I keep telling him that he works for me. Does he not want to work?
He has worked here for more than 4 months and still needs to be told every small thing over and over.

Folding the towels: Is this a movie? I have asked him to fold the towels in thirds since the beginning of his tenure here, yet when I go into the closet, they are folded in half. It is an issue of not being able to do what I say even in the smallest way.

I am at the end of my rope. Certainly, I want him to have livelihood but his last encounter with me was  as a very angry man who demanded that I hear his side of the story.  Are You Ready To Hear My Side of The Story? I said that I had other things that were very important to my life and it was not appropriate for him to demand my time in just this way.  I did not want to talk with him in his agitated state. I do not want to shoulder his issues. I want him to come and do what I ask that which is part of his job description. Nothing more.

The receptionist here overheard his comments, I guess because he might have been talking about me to another person when he walked out of the apartment. I asked him not to go and talk to housekeeping.  I told him that J would get here in good time since she must be busy with more important things in the building and that he should leave her alone. Not listening to my request for him to do nothing, he walked out of the apartment and was gone I knew not where to do whatever he wanted.

I do not know what he told J. When they arrived together, I told him that I did not want him talking for me to the staff. I needed to repeat this before he backed off.   I asked him to end his workday and that I could take care of things on my own and he went home.  When we were alone, J told me she was afraid that he might escalate his behavior to violence because of the way he spoke to her. She has a lot of experience because she has worked in this building for many many years.
When I ask him to file something, he creates another file folder. I went looking for papers and found three folders in his handwriting with papers all in different sections of the cabinet!

Lord Give Me A Break! This is comic tragic in the most Grecian Theater productions!

He needs health care and this job gives him health care. I do feel that he needs kindness but he is not showing me kindness.  His energy is one of control and carelessness. I have been talking to my daughter about my unhappiness with his work ethic for 2 months.  Every day he is here something goes wrong!  I feel that the last situation of not listening, talking to J, and doing whatever he wants as well as no comment on the ‘lost’ pillowcases is somehow a last straw.  Should I just call him and tell him it is over? I need advice and support in working this out with the least amount of my energy use. All comments graciously accepted. Have you had house cleaners who did you wrong? I am singing the Blues…


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