Rewiring the System


Day Three

Posted in Uncategorized by rewiringangel on August 28, 2010
Tags: , , , ,

My Daughter called while I was in the shower. It was a first but I talked on the land line phone with the hot water running down my back! It was almost eleven o’clock as I washed to ready for my 12:30 rendezvous with radiation.
I am fortunate to have her drive me every once and a while so I can be passenger and not expend energy enroute.
The drive was very pleasant. We shared stories. But more than anything she told me the days and events that brought meaning to her. I need fun and laughter. She can make me laugh. At one point Serena was talking about plants. It was a while before I understood they were in the median strip of Devisedero toward the Freeway. That is ‘Kangaroo Foot’, she catwallers! I had no idea what she was referring to since I had not noticed the plants. I did not understand that she was talking about something in the here and now moment. At that moment she is speeding down the street, rolls down her window, pulls close to the median strip and reaches out and pulls one tip of a flowering plant and hands it to me. I am thinking that this is drive by farming and start to laugh out loud! What an event. The flowers are velvety rust and golden brown in a downy underbelly sort of soft fuzz. They are in a bunch of long necked flower with the closed top buds looking very much like paws! When i stop laughing I say, ‘Didn’t your Mother teach you not to pick urban public flowers?’
The Hospital is not a place of swiss clock work patient and process gears. I get there early and go get a drink at the cafe in the basement of right wing of the twin building. We get to the waiting room a little early and are told that there is a delay and they will be ready in about a half hour or so. We choose to sit and wait rather than use little energy in going back to the cafe.
It is a complex office with radiation and other cure directed processes that often take more time than allotted for the set up and infusion. One other woman waiting has bright red shoes. We talk about what a nce color they are and she remarks that she painted them ‘with red enamel”. She means bright red paint that is used on signs or on wood trim! Then In short time I am called. The tech shows me three strips of masking tape about one inch across on the bottom surface of the knee holding triangle. As though tree small circles of tape will hold the leg position still resisting the slide that caused my body to move yesterday! Boy is there an invention waiting to materialize!
I keep quiet and strive to hold still. In fact my body moved down almost an inch. The conversation with the technician was pointless.. She says the light lines did not move and that I was zapped in the right place and I choose not to say anything. Though i did show how my head was still out of the head holster. Nothing I could say would get a reaction.
My breast is cooked again. The places where the energy entered my body pulse lon and off with a punching feeling. My head is heavy with that tired feeling I was warned about. The positioning of my arms is not hard. It is a weird place to have my arms and hands but it is not for ever and not as difficult as the hours of set up were last week.
I feel drained. My car is at my daughters house. I get in and start the engin and slowly get on the way to my apartment a few miles up the hill. I come home and have to discuss the dismissal of an assistant I had hired to work on my years of files as well as other aspects of my creative life. I am sorry she did not want this job sufficiently to show up. The facts and the follies of finding that my new computer was used while she was here working unattended compounded the collision. Now I had to relive the aspects of the closer with my house keeper. He had picked up the key but had returned empty handed of other items. I think: Do I want more contact with this person who is not able to come to work when she was scheduled. Like Woody Allan says, The biggest part of Success is Just Showing Up!
I am again looking for an assistant to do many things, including typing and hand holding, laundry, filing and most important … Organizing. I have so many files for different chapters. It is amazing that I was not made a priority.
All I want to do is rest. I get the meal prepared by a generous person and get in to my jammies. All I want to do is sleep…

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