Rewiring the System

Beautiful Thinking Day 13

Teach Me To Hear The Voice Of Silence.
I am living and working in and on a shared imposed construct. I am struggling with the amount of time I have yet to traverse with radiation.

I keep imagining that things will work out in time, as though the time is short, rather than the vast display of possibilities strung out with each blink of an eye, in which each and every flutter is bursting with choice. ‘I think therefore I am’ ushered in the”Descartes” evolution revolution.

René Descartes
Passions of the Soul

René Descartes 31 March 1596 – 11 February 1650) (Latinized form: Renatus Cartesius; adjectival form: “Cartesian”), was a French philosopher, mathematician, physicist, and writer who spent most of his adult life in the Dutch Republic.

He has been dubbed the “Father of Modern Philosophy”, and much of subsequent Western philosophy is a response to his writings, which continue to be studied closely to this day. In particular, his Meditations on First Philosophy continues to be a standard text at most university philosophy departments.

Descartes’ influence in mathematics is also apparent; the Cartesian coordinate system—allowing geometric shapes to be expressed in algebraic equations—was named after him. He is credited as the father of analytical geometry. Descartes was also one of the key figures in the Scientific Revolution.

The HORRIBLE truth is that Descartes gave us the ticking clock mentality of time is money! He stands for everything that must be shattered for a real heart beat human understanding of the place of time in a life. A time to Love!

Today started, first thing this morning, started with a phone call reminding me of the great adventure to follow this day. The great adventure invitation at the Chabot Science center in the hills of Oakland CA. My dear friend picked me up.

For some reason, perhaps being on the press list or some science group in my recent past, I was on the invited guest list. I had a pass for two tickets, there is no one I would rather share this event with than her. The invitation, in an email last week, was both a surprise and a treat. The subject of this event, of music and science and their interrelatedness is one that is close to my heart. How to encourage and allow young minds to thrive and live out their individual creative destiny. Public education has fostered the dumbing down of american students.

A friend from the middle spine of the American continent has been forcing me to think about this issue. He sent me an article about Harvard and the shift away for final exams in most of their classes. Does this bode badly on the thinking of other less lofty schools and the feed system of education in the K through 12 public schools?

I am not a believer in public education for this and other reasons. Tonight there was a rerun of a 60 minutes show about education for the disadvantaged. Taking a wide variety of abilities and giving them the kind of education the monied pay 35 to 50 thousand dollars a year. The movers and shakers at the top of society know what it takes to train leaders. There are many self made men and woman in positions of leadership. Leadership is not the same thing as having money.

What would I be today if I had a descent education? My third grade teacher put me in the book closet because I knew what the teacher was teaching the class. It is a situation of community and family. The lower middle class neighborhood, where I lived with my mother, did not have the tax base to attract and pay a quality teacher. My mother did not care about me and would never be my advocate against any story told by a teacher. This teacher was particularly malefic. If anyone cared I would have been filled with vigor and joy. Alas I am filled with low self esteem and dissipated years of low energy. I was trained to have a small mind and a big mouth. I was determined not to pass the same generalized abandonment on to my daughter.

I told my then boyfriend that if he married me he should know that I did not believe in public education and that our children would have to go to private schools. From the very first nursery, pre school my daughter went to the best places that offered joyful fun and grace in communication that fanned the flame of thoughtfulness and thoughts about the world as a whole. The puzzels of living all play a part in good education that allows each person to feel good enough in all facets to work at their best.

I feel that thinking about others really allows me to care for and about myself as part of the human family.

I feel the melancholy of my years of emotional struggles weigh on my mind and heart as I strive to face my current situation.

I still have swollen joints even though I have not had any radiation for two days. Was it that horrid medication recommended to me by a person I met when I gave a talk at the BIL some year or two ago that i asked the Primary Care doctor to prescribe that caused my joints to swell? Or is it just the radiation is causing havoc in all the internal moving parts?

I have no ability to walk smoothly with out pain. I am sitting here, trying to type and think while I am shaking in pulsing physical pain. Sometimes I find I am holding my breath in an effort to ignore the hurting. Holding my breath so I will concentrait on not feeling the pain. It is like biting the bullet in the old wild west.

I spent hours on my feet at the science museum. It was a lot of fun and made me feel that education was going to get a much needed boost. I should have worn a brace or sleeve to support my knee.

I wish I had a special friend to keep my mind off my ‘issues’. It seems that the men who have shown up in my life are lacking any real space for a real woman. One man is very married and he thinks I am going to be his hug toy! A man who asked for my number at a science talk only wants someone to be his audience and he is very intensely rude. Way to many questions about my personal business than any normal. Does that work for him?
Another man was so much like my ex that it was shocking to know that people come in multiples! I know there is a man out there who is looking for me. How will we find one another?

Today I sent a note to My elected official living in Washington, D.C.

This is what I sent to the White House, You can send your thoughts to the White House too. Here is the email address. Letters and phone calls no longer have the weight of an email. I suppose that is because a computer and the connection cost more than paper and a stamp. Please have the courage to send your thoughts to the president. If they compile a file on you and you get followed, if you notice it, please PUBLICIZE to all the social media.

Your public position seems to be repeating your predecessors policies. Do you think that is what, we who elected you want?
Put the criminals who started this war behind bars where they cannot further dismantle our democracy. Do you have the will to work for the people?
I am afraid America is heading to another civil war over the economy coupled with politicians who are not good. Just not good servants of the common good. Please reply to me personally with your plan for our future.

Politics: I am so tired of my personal political powerlessness with all my hopes for the ‘common man’ crashed against the wall of the industrial international conglomerates.

I watch the rise of the really right of the balance point as powerful monied politicos gain face time in the mass media. It is the one and another ’empty barrel’ making the most noise, just like citizen Nikita Sergeyevich Khrushchev, made so much noise banging his shoe and wrist on the UN platform until he crushed his wrist watch. It is a public speaking event that raises the manual laborer to the world leadership.

Too many subjects!

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