Rewiring the System

Yawn… Radiation Marathon

Posted in Uncategorized by rewiringangel on September 15, 2010
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It is our current Moral Question: How much longer are we going to keep our mouths shut and not press the world governments as well as our local governments about the big bowl of Toxic Soup we are breathing and ingesting. Part of the reason I have had cancer is Environmental! We are all living in a cancer causing globe.

More people are getting environmental involved cancer than ever before.

I have not had dinner and am too tired to cook or even open the refrigerator. It is the Jewish new year so I open a can of Streit’s Macaroons. I actually do not like coconut but I am so tired that I will eat them with delight. Macaroons and water, much better than bread and water but negligible nutritional difference.

I come home around 9 from a talk about cancer held at the Jewish Community Center in San Francisco. The first thing I notice at the talk is how closely held beliefs have no space for dialogue. More so the psychiatrist ….. But the culture has to be accepted as it presents itself. Our American Culture is touchy about dialogue where one person talks and the other listens and sometimes the conversation shows how new information is including in the mental map.

It is more important what people do rather than what they say. So listening to the jittery jumble of beliefs bears little in relation to the actual good things that have and do happen for the benefit cancer patients and survivors.

The very first thing I have to learn and relearn is being in touch with my body. How do I manage to come home and eat cookies for dinner?

I get up and sit in mediation, at last I am doing my practice. It is the meditation little flame that keeps me alive and not my physical form. I have to be aware of my body, my physical form, taking the time to wash and feed this body, And so forth of self care, but must stay close to the flame of lighted shimmering space or plasma in my core deep inside.

I am inspired again by the talk from a practicing Buddhist who took the time to document her travels from the time she was diagnosed with cancer through the process. I am inspired to really get about telling my stories.

What a long day. Radiation, then an hour of paperwork with my social worker at the hospital. She takes a very nice picture of me in my very new blond wig. I have lost a lot of hair! It will grow back but the wigs are so fun and easy! Then off to the talk about cancer and its strategy just a few blocks away from the Divisadero building. I just am too tired to write more.


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