Rewiring the System


18 treatment

Posted in Uncategorized by rewiringangel on September 21, 2010
Tags: , , , ,

I am somewhere halfway between talking and singing; it is musical but not music. … Which nearly becomes a sorrowful dirge while I still cannot get the respect that every person deserves. I have the spirit of the light of consciousness which every human being shares. The grace of light is reverence, respect and revelation!

Respect: Yes, I have a very nice life. I have running water on tap when ever I want it. I live in a safe apartment in a neighborhood that really makes me smile in a big breath of happiness. My do dirge – doom – an extremely slow funeral march” pace along the foothill of that rocky Sisyphus’ Eagle precipice. I could call it the two-step but I have no partner.

Last night I got about three and a half hours sleep because the incision where the lymph node was removed is magenta inflamed. Every time I moved or turned over It reacted like the cycle of a Lighthouse sending out its rhythmic signal. It attracted the attention of the Doctor.

Who knows when these things will get better? I have another almost two weeks of treatments and I have not found a regular transportation. I have a ride for this coming Friday and I had a wonderful ride today.

It is a ‘thing’ about family. I suddenly do not have any family. I have not had a call or any contact with my daughter in two weeks. To say that I can deal with this is foolish. It is foolish to imagine that I can deal with a radiation-burned left breast, recovering from surgery, edema, a joint pin, and not being able to think and act normally. I am very weary and deeply tired from the traditional reaction to the radiation. There is no way to direct life, it is just life.

I am overwhelmed and this is the time that my one living relative walks out .. Could this be really happening?

I am physically, mentally and emotionally in pain! Am I able to keep my head above water or will I drown by the time this radiation series?

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