Rewiring the System

Effort and Risk *8

Posted in Uncategorized by rewiringangel on October 7, 2010

Is this cancer treatment really worth the effort and risk? I can feel my head sinking under the waves of difficult emotions. I am getting no tenderness or support from anyone I know. Friends bring up all sorts of irrelevant garbage that actually have nothing to do with me at all!

My daughter brought up things in last nights phone call, that should have been tossed out years earlier. The sort of things she seems to have saved up to engender the most stress and tension. Why do I bother with her and the toxic conversations? I am truly overwhelmed.

I have to get out of the house to go to the hospital now and I will return to write more.

What cancer patient gets what they need emotionally and physically? What cancer patients do not have so much separation from the very things and people who would help a person to succeed?

I know understand why I was called last week by a special person in my life to tell me to keep my head above water Actually she told me to keep my neck straight so that my lips do not go below the level of effluent that is currently surrounding me in every direction. One day after another, can I survive? I really try to hold the good things that happen higher in my mind than the truly hurtful Why are people hurting me right to my core? I am reaching the end of my energy. Who cares?

I feel sure that all cancer survivors have overcome this horrible separation. It is a separation from everyone who was expected to be kind and caring. I thought people would be here when I needed them because I have been so helpful in their lives. Oh, that I will attract that which I have burning warmly within my heart.
I would like the woman who are like me please send me a note find me and give me the benefit of your survival. Today I am very low!


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