Rewiring the System

Tenth Reverse Towpath

Posted in Uncategorized by rewiringangel on October 10, 2010
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It is getting better every day … My breast is no longer bright red. The Zink, A&E cream and other products are softening my skin and giving the illusion of Return… Return Again, Return Again, Return to that place in my Heart!

I am determined to get better. I hope that my determination does not build a false reality of stasis that excludes the balance of real recovery.

The unbalanced life style is what got me into this illness. I see myself and the all manner of delivery and attraction of actions and words that I allowed to come and go. I would engage in conversation that was offensive to me from people at every stage of friendship. No more returning to that sort of exchange.

I had invited a person to an event and the invitation was misunderstood. Is it my responsibility to rehash or can I just move on. If the persons did not want to go with me, I am seeing that people and persons rather than saying no thank you make it appear that The Inviter is in fault. The is the expression ‘Do not shoot the delivery man’, has new meaning fir me. I see that people bring their own stories and try to make it your story.

My daughter decided to drive me to the Posh Luncheon at the Golf Country Club. If you are not really going to this destination You would drive right by. It is the least ostentatious entrance of this sort of venue I have ever seen. Well maybe the club that heads of state use in the woods near Calistoga, CA. That site is hidden from the general population.
Once across the gate the vistas of greens and grass delights the senses.

The room where the Fall Fashion Frenzy is held has the long wall of floor to ceiling picture windows. I choose to sit at the big round table next to the five foot high fire place. My daughter and I have the table to ourselves. We have a chance to catch up on her live and the choices she is deliberating. I am too weary and drained just from the radiation to say much. Talking is tiring! Imagine that as a strange effect which is so different from my Oxytocin drenched brain. In case you do not know about the touchy fealy chatty effects of Oxytocin, here are a few sentences for your information: Oxytocin (pronounced /ˌɒksɨˈtoʊsɪn/) is a mammalian hormone that acts primarily as a neurotransmitter in the brain. Also known as alpha-hypophamine (α–hypophamine), oxytocin has the distinction of being the very first polypeptide hormone to be sequenced and synthesized biochemically by Vincent du Vigneaud et al. in 1953.

Oxytocin is best known for its roles in female reproduction: 1) it is released in large amounts after distension of the cervix and vagina during labor, and 2) after stimulation of the nipples, facilitating birth and breastfeeding. Recent studies have begun to investigate oxytocin’s role in various behaviors, including orgasm, social recognition, pair bonding, anxiety, and maternal behaviors. For this reason, it is sometimes referred to as the “cuddle hormone.”

Normally I delight in my talkative self. Now I am glad to listen. I tell Serena I am currently a Voyeur in my own life!

I must go to the Y and exercise now. I will return and tell you about the luncheon and the wonderful work of the Friend to Friend organization.

Walking in water was wonderful. Getting cleaned up under a shower that I do not have to climb in and out of is wonderful.
I did want to tell you all about the program at the club to fund raise for money to get wigs and supplies for woman going through breast cancer treatments. During the hard times which we are all going through right now means that reaching out to those who might have some cash to share with this worthy cause.


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