Rewiring the System


12 Days Since The Last Table Time

Posted in Uncategorized by rewiringangel on October 12, 2010
Tags: , , , , ,

Can I communicate without a license? As a deeply religious person whose major religion is Physics, can I share my thoughts and support people struggling on the path without a state sanctified license?

Today I had a wonderful meeting with the doctor who brought me into the University of California at San Francisco Medical Centers and the primer Breast Cancer Center.

There are as many personality types as there are different disciplines in medicine. I did not give this idea much mental space until today. You might think there are just a few types of doctors like in the shuffle of the Meyers Brigs or such …

The truth is that the personality of a medical doctor ( one who sees patients ) is complex. It is in layers of ‘type’ and typography so that the core has a dozen variables at each possible level out to their surface skin.

I have seen my share of doctors in my life. I remember with great fondness the search for an obstetrician when I was newly pregnant. It was like looking for the perfect job or home. I set up appointments for every day and some days I met and interviewed two doctors a day. I was certain to have a doctor who was honest and able to engage in dialogue. I knew then, as I know now, that the healing art is more than the sum of knowledge.

In the past, I was armed with a particular question to ask each doctor, ‘Would you allow me to read about your opinions in your medical books?’

I met around 30 doctors before I met the one who said, ‘Not only will I let you read my medical books I delight in your inquiring mind, You are my ideal patient!’

It was wonderful not to be parented. He treated me with respect and good humor. He told me, on more than one occasion, that he looked forward to my visit. I was surprised and delighted in his compliment. I did not expect that I ended up needing a cesarean. It was because the child in my womb had an extraordinarily large head filled to the brimming with brains and her body in-vitro grew to be the size of a three month old weighing at birth 12 pounds 3 ounces. I have incubator pictures with the numbers and her name taken in the infant viewing room.

Any other doctor would have done other invasive interventions. We were a team, this obstetrician and me. Our working together brought us both happiness and health. I honor his memory!

I find good dialogue at UCSF with my Main Doctor, who today told me the truth about just how much radiation I was shot with. I had asked questions of all the other doctors I am seeing and none would answer me directly!

Mrs. Main Doctor, She told me the true numbers of radiation measure ‘gray’ microns. She looked at my fingers and nails and said I will address the infection She told me about the internal process that allowed the infection to grow and gave me a date when she believed I would be healed as well as when my radiation weariness would be resolved.

The Oncologist did not tell me the truth about the amount of radiation. She saw my growing infection for almost a month and did nothing to stop its growth other than a salve and bandaids. I was not given either a sleeve or a valid prescription for the correct edema sleeve that was signed and ready to be actualized. When I showed the form given me by the ontologist both The Good Doctor and her Nurse assistants jaw dropped as in unison they said , “IT IS NOT SIGNED!”.

So the result of this is I get told that the oncologist must be afraid of me! Ok KAYYYyyyyyyy how does this apply? So, I say to the person who suggests the oncologist withheld information and did not give me proper medical attention because she is afraid of me …

Huh? and I actually burst out laughing. I have no interest in investigating this or taking it further than the value of sharing how strange my every day life actually plays. So What?

I ask the Good People who are talking to me, who actually showing me MY medical records, if they were afraid of me? Too Strange. I surmise that they are sharing and talking with me out of respect!

It is unbelievable that the doctors I seek out for their medical expertise, for them to harbor emotions about personalities over principles. How can they let other doctors know or think they have something to fear from me! This is just plain dumb.

Todays doctors alluded that some professionals might be afraid of me because I am curious and intelligent. Boy, what this world needs is to put down intelligent people so that our country and the democratic world wants less and less intelligent people! Why should integrative creative people be told such impossible things?

In a geek group that allows me to read their uber smart communications, they tell me that I make them feel as they did when they were eleven years old. It is my ‘not’ knowing anything about computers that makes me ask beginner questions.

In medicine I have a passing long time interest so I can use some of the language and am very interested. There is no reason for any doctor or any human being to be afraid of me… Please know that I never would do any harm on any level on another human. In fact I do not even harm an ant or fly!

I relate to the mistreatment of Anne Hutchinson, (baptized July 20, 1591– (she lived fairly long for her time and because of her fearless outspoken atitude about the Bible)~ August 20, 1643) She was a pioneer settler in Massachusetts, Rhode Island and New Netherlands and the unauthorized minister of a dissident church discussion group. Hutchinson held Bible meetings for women that soon appealed to men as well. Eventually, she went beyond Bible study to proclaim her own theological interpretations of sermons. Imagine the crime of thinking about the words written in the Bible rather than wanting some other person telling you what to believe. I related to Ann today.

I am now on anti biotics and good intense pain management meds. I know how to gage when I will no longer be so weary and be through this difficulty. I do not know what I will do since tomorrow I am scheduled to see the oncologist?

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