Rewiring the System

Sweet 16 Plus One

Posted in Uncategorized by rewiringangel on October 17, 2010
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Cancer has really made me see what crap I have put up with all these years. It is really hard to give up all my bad relations and the communication which happens when other people do not respect me.

It is like any addiction. It is a vice to stay up past the time I am really tired. To keep doing busy stuff until I just black out. I no longer need to keep the edge off of myself feeling what is really going on in the real here and now. I now tell people who are rude, difficult and down right in my face that I do not want that kind of relationship in my life.

I am no longer trying to figure out to do with my life. I am ready for Happiness… So Much Happiness!

I have to face my dragons and like Michael I have to slay them with gusto knowing that in the flow of life I am supported in this place. Michael is an archangel in Jewish, Christian, and Islamic traditions. He is viewed as the field commander of the Army of Goodness serving Mother Nature.

With the dragon by the balls Michael represents all people. He has the purified the dense material man in himself and became a great prince who stands up for the children. I am one of the children of the infinite Mother Nature. Michael is here on our Globe to imply that no one is like God yet a man can be godlike and with the power of self transformative he is able to slay the sleazy and overcome his slimy green gooey dragons. In this way, Michael is seen as a symbol of humility before the Infinite Goodness.
I am working to factor up the goodness, the peace and beautifulness of truly being myself. The cancer woke me up!

It is that goodness that I ma all trying to uncover and to free. Whenever I act positively, I move toward it; whenever I act negatively, I obscure and inhibit it. And whenever I cannot express it in my shared life and actions, I feel miserable and frustrated. The effects of the radiation is still creating glum dreary weariness in my brain and body. I feel that this seventeenth day is a fulcrum point a point of return to self. The last few weeks have been a nightmare of pain. Today I ach here and there but I rested and just did some fun things and the resting makes all the difference. I am again going to sleep earlier and stay asleep longer. I believe that meditating is a real resource for contacting the positive creative energy. I feel attractive to this source in meditation. Meditation is magnetic.

So Much Happiness

It is difficult to know what to do with so much happiness.

With sadness there is something to rub against,
a wound to tend with lotion and cloth.
When the world falls in around you, you have the pieces to pick up,
Something to hold in your hands, like ticket stubs or change.

But happiness floats.
It dosen’t need you to hold it down.
It doesn’t need anything.
Happiness lands on the roof of the next house, singing, and disappears when it wants to.

You are happy either way.
Even the fact that you once lived in a peaceful tree house and now live over a quarry of noise and dust cannot make you unhappy.

Everything has a life of its own,
it too could wake up filled with possibilities
of coffee cake and ripe peaches,
and love even the floor which needs to be swept,
the soiled linens and scratched records…

Since there is no place large enough
to contain so much happiness,
you shrug, you raise your hands, and it flows out of you into everything you touch. You are not responsible.

You take no credit, as the night sky takes no credit for the moon, but continues to hold it, and share it, and in that way, be known.
~Peter Bruckner


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