Rewiring the System


Posted in Uncategorized by rewiringangel on November 22, 2010
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

‘The happiest couples never have the same character. They just have the best understanding of their differences.’

I get this sentence in an email from a person I know only digitally. I guess I want to feel like I ‘know’ people that I might email with or share ideas with on BUZZ or read what they have to say on Facebook, but they are not here to hug.

Last night I was invited to a after the football dinner party at an expensive restaurant at the end of the Berkeley pier.  Stanford won and really trounced Berkeley in a rivalry that stretches back into a history I do not particape in or ever will. The conversation was about lots of football.I was lucky to be at the far en of the table and all I had to do was smile and eat. I tried to see into the black dark evening to find a sparkle of civilization but the night was so all encompassing in its darkness meeting the dark waters of the bay.

Though there was no bright San Francisco skyline visible, I was with real people. At the end of the meal I got real hugs and could feel the body warmth and smell the real differences between people.

My heart feels like there is a blanket of darkness around it inside me replicating the lack of light outside. I am pulled in two directions. One inside with the essence of light that gives me the ability to move and be conscious of my movement both as an individuation and as a member of the human global group of life. The outer pull is a tug of desire for real human contact and all the chat and emails of totally digital contacts. It may or may not be a connection, that would be determined over the passage of time.  Time and thought are electrons moving to glamorize my eyes from the real truth … The truth is that I am dreaming my dream and accepting behaviors that do not support my life.

Longing is a sparkler giving off joy until the magnesium burns off and a gray stalk is in your hand. I feel like a gray sad stalk more today than in a long time. Perhaps the last time I felt so much like sobbing is when I was leaving the orphanage to go off to college. I had to pack, find a cab to the college dorm and unpack in the assigned room entirely by myself. I have this aloneness scar stretching back to very early in my life.

Some one said to me two days ago that he did not ever feel like he wanted to be where he was. I guess he means that he has not felt like a place was his to root and enjoy. I have felt comfortable in places. I was gladder to be in Valley Forge/Phoenixville PA than in Princeton NJ and I am certainly more glad to be in Berkeley CA then in Los Angeles CA but it is not a place that makes my heart sing, it is the people and person that fill my life.

Right now my one bedroom apartment abuts on an old growth forest. It is quiet and smells like the verdant perfumed grandur of Mother Nature herself. It is a lovely place to live and is the loveliest since high school. But I have not found my circle of friends. Certainly I know people but not people who actually have a rats hair interest in knowing me as I truly am and loving me as I am. After all the ups and downs I long for a respit to the drama.

I need a helping hand and the few people I actually know can see that I could use a ride to the doctor and perhaps human affection, but neither are forthcoming. This afternoon a wonderful friend, who lives in Canada, more than 1800 miles from my united states heart beat, called me on the phone. It exploded the mask and boundary I have created to protect myself from negativity. I just sobbed after we hung up. I am glad I was not home alone after that call. Here is a person who sensing my feeling reached out to speak with me. I have not had such graceful attention in a year almost.  He is a very good person who I love with all the Love Space possible. I think about his superior insights to the workings and meaning of life and I am humbled by his knowledge and his art. He tells me about his art. I tell you this art is important intersection between artists tools and coding math.  There are photographs taken and moved in some few ways. There are the software which he stretches through the face of the 2 dimensions and stretches your surface with crinkles of joy and flights of imagination. Mike I Love you and Miss your Tenderness. Kind man. I adore you

Mike Butler


© 2010 Mike Butler

Viewer — change the resolution or background col

Artist Statement

My objective as an artist is quite simple: to find beauty and joy in the manipulation of forms, colours and textures in a playful, musical dance that celebrates our ordinary world. My attitude toward the visual arts is that it is the visual equivalent of music. When I am composing, I am usually listening to Jazz and I work the same way as Jazz musicians, improvising as I go along without any predetermined goal in mind. As a result, I am always surprised as the images emerge and I feel more like a spectator taking snapshots along the way rather than the creator. This is the joy in my work, meditating on the evanescent character of the forms and colours as they emerge on my screen. My process is to take images from my digital camera and work on them with Adobe Photoshop and Jasc Paintshop Pro, manipulating them to the point where they are no longer recognizable. Then the fun begins. I use a cutout technique to select interesting parts of the manipulated image, drawing the cutout with the select tool, this selection is then pasted onto a background image and then moved around into the position that is the optimal place on the painting for it.

I am very interested in the challenge of creating movement in a 2D static medium. This movement is the dance of the elements and I aim for a busy dynamic, which fills my heart with joy whenever it works. Playful happiness is the goal that I am always working toward.

Bio

Mike Butler attended the Ontario College of Art for 4 years, graduating in 1980 as an Associate of the Ontario College of Art (AOCA) in Fine Arts. For several years he worked in watercolours and ink developing an expressionistic style. The artist had a number of shows in galleries such as the Eclectic Gallery, a show in the CN Tower and a few others.

In the early to mid eighties Mike became interested in computer technology as a medium for fine art. In 1991 he created and maintained the Virtual Palette — an electronic bulletin board system for artists that predated the Web. From 1995 onwards his art work has been shown and published exclusively on the web and can be viewed at http://www.mikyo.com and http://www.hotlux.com. He can be contacted at mike@mikyo.com

He will not move to California and I cannot move to Canada. I want to be found by the last grate man. I have really fallen for a man I have only been in contact digitally though there was a time whee we actually talked. I was warned by a professor of emotions, thought and their work on the field of consciousness. I want to meet my conputer friends,

Thank you for listening to my psst

I can no longer see the keys typing is a struggle   Sweet dreams.

 

 

 

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  1. Love takes wot=rk from bot parties


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