Rewiring the System


Appraisal


Appraisal:  When even one of us — who has done nothing wrong — is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth, then all of us are in peril.

If I were a detective would I be a man or a woman?  Would I like to do this? Would I like to choose a gender or has my gender been chosen long ago in the world of albumin. The paternal grandmother wanted me to be named after her mother and my mother simply pushed the name back with the socially acceptable query If taking the first letter of the grand paternal choice and using a modern heroin name to label this young girl. In my fluttering through the levels of cosmic atmospheres; The thermosphere is the biggest of all the layers of the earth’s atmosphere directly above the mesosphere and directly below the exosphere. Within this layer, ultraviolet radiation causes ionization. The International Space Station has a stable orbit within the middle of the thermosphere, between 320 and 380 kilometres (200 and 240 mi). Auroras also occur in the thermosphere. I collected magnetic pulls. The Pull drew aside and separated the foggy shade that kept the expanse from my eyes and mind.

IF: If is a conjunction that introduces the possibility of failing UP.  I love learning IF I dont have to read and study.  The story begins with my Mother finding and fitting in names to create the name she really wanted to call me. It is senseless to cover this up. She really choose the name IF. In the 1950’s she did not have the creative stretch to call a baby girl ‘If’.

I remember one day I was talking with my Mother in the second floor living room. We were playing Canasta. It is the name that sticks in my brain But nothing of the game stuck.  Actually I do not remember the rules or ways to collect points yet I recall the name. On days when the sun cuts through the clouds creating the odd combination of light pink gossamer floating in the most excellent soft baby blue pancake. This color running together was a wish making sky for her. She would relax her stomach and breath in with such grace and fullness letting the energy of the sky part of Mother Nature fill her and in her living the breathing teach me how to fill myself with Nature   My Mother spent the world wide financial Depression in Cuba. It was in the southern sunshine that she learned the card game devised by two South Americans, Segundo Santos and Alberto Serrato, Canasta, the ‘basket’.

While we  picked and placed the cards on the hassock between her sea foam green and my rich royal blue wing back horsehair arm chairs we chattered. I asked her if she ever smokes cigaretts. Mother got up and left the room. When she returned she had a package of Chesterfields and a book of matches. She offered me a cigarette! I commenced to coughing and sneezing. I had not reached my ninth birthday.

In the constructions, the condition clause, IF, expresses a condition the truth of which is unverified. I might br who I am yet Who Am I as an IF?   When calling me to do the dishes and make bubble gloves she made statements (both clauses in the present, or both clauses in the past) and predictions weaved in the calling forth of this child, me, as an if. My first name appears on my birth certificate and the letter ‘f’ as my middle name.

The “zero” conditional is formed with both clauses in the present tense. This construction is similar across many languages. It is used to express a certainty, a universal statement, a law of science, etc.:

If you heat water to 100 degrees celsius, it boils.

It is different from true conditionals because the introductory “if” can be replaced by “when” or “whenever” (e.g., “When you heat water…”), which cannot be done for true conditionals.

In these constructions, the condition clause expresses a condition that is known to be false, or presented as unlikely. The result clause contains a conditional verb form consisting of would (or couldshould,might) plus a main verb in the base form (infinitive without to).

Would I step into the familial construction shell * IF *

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