Rewiring the System


Here is the question: Is this good for me or is this an energy drain? Discriminate:  Discernment and discretion are both about pleasure and power. Will I give my power away to get attention? Does looking for pleasure always end in some loss of self.  Discriminative choice is the thinking, cognitive and feeling, sensory divide, left or right side on the road of life.

General life, from birth that gets a person from grammar, middle and high school to a place in society is a path with few distinctions. I need a guide. I need distinctions! I might think that it is my ability to see fine distinctions and perceive differences between good better, bad or worse is in a continuing effort for me to reach balance. I might imagine I am walking toward balance, toward understanding the dance.  My senses, all five, six or seven of the collectors of information weigh and value things that are objects, things that are subjects, that are untouchable ideas or even those that are just imaginings. Some imaginings materialize as the flutter of a flock of birds each carrying a little piece of my heart to the heavens. Seeing the patterns and possessing the exceptional development of the quality of awareness, that is being aware, allowing the truth of what is going on while you are looking, listening, smelling, tasting or being tasted and touched to be road signs to turn your toes toward the preferred path..

What is the right choice? I have just so much time, energy and funds. How do I choose? Love should not hurt, yet the choices I have in the past several years yielded impossibly controlling types who told me I was mean. See, you all out in readership land, that something is clearly wrong with my choices.  I seem to be socially undesirable. Discernment has remained a term denoting elite status in perception  and insight, often attributed to success in in gaining things and cash or anyone with admirable choice in fashion style and leaders in our society. For me all those definitions tell  me about the process of choice. I need to choose to see what the person is really saying or doing and not see what I would like the to be or feel. My family has been nicer to strangers than to me.  Yea! I need to get to that place just beyond the fingertips of all the afor mentioned

What to do when the stuff that you thought was great Belgian chocolate turns out to have no interest?

I have gotten myself into a batch of bad situations because I did not take a long look at what was right in front of my eyes. Now I get the pay back. It is horrible and difficult. I imagine I am seen as worth respect but my relations with the bag of bodies of people I allow to get closer than I can handle are making me not want to get out of my room. The two ‘friends’ do not offer what could work out with the life giving quality that shines like the sun unconditionally.  I am not interested in them as anything other than as a great friend but they want to touch and kiss and more. It has escalated to the point where I am uncomfortable. How I have managed to have them keep their cloths on for all these months is astounding. I need to get all the people, both the men and woman a  who have nothing to offer me but their complaints , nothing other than their devine self centeredness.

The only way I will not completely disintegrate is by opening my heart to truth.  My warm heart has all the space I need to feel the friendship of the great Mother Nature. The other evening after the very difficult doctors appointment I just melted down. Then the phone and the emails came about all that I should would and will do for those who never ask me how I am. One does ask me how I am but really reacts defensively.  It is time for me to step inside my chrysalis for the correct amout of time so that when I emerge I will be able to flutter with grace, poise, and balance.


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