Rewiring the System


Diabetes Is Alcoholism


I don’t know why Men with Diabetes flutter toward me seeking my attention? Diabetes is an addiction! An addiction to suicide, injuring themselves and anyone who gets close. Why these hampered butterflies flock over a field of imagined sugary substance is a sick sign of our times.

Addiction baggage has nothing to do with the hot womanly fiery flame that radiates in a gender dance relationship with my heart. Day in and day out, over and over again, from the rocket scientist I adored for more than five years to another who I gave my time and attention both have diabetes and hypertension.  Men with the behaviors and same medical difficulties and fists full of medications instead of inner change. Oh Steve, you are such a good man and I do miss you… but I am so finished with guys with Diabetes! The need for control stifles my flame and is oppressive to my kindling.

My Ex-husband is a practicing alcoholic. I had 20+ years in that cloud! I had to join the wives of alcoholics 12 Step program in Phoenixville, PA, to get the energetic torque to rocket into the starry milky mother and safety. I needed real torque to escape! By the way, Torque is the rotational or ‘Twisting’ effect of a force, a moment of force that is both a sensation and visible.  Torque is measured as an equivalent straight line force multiplied by the distance from the Axis Of Rotation! VaaaRrrrrrBoom …..feel the SI unit Newton-Meter, (Nm) or Imperial Unit Foot Pound of power resistance to the static heft to build up enough pressure to move forward. Change is a struggle. Change is hard work

I could not get away from the controlling abusive relationship with out the community of understanding that the group of local woman who where in the same cup of hot water as I found myself floating like the proverbial Frog. Ya’all know the story of the Frog who was in a pot of water that sat on a fire. The frog did not notice how hot the water was getting until he was Cooked.  That frog was me. I was cooked and marginalized and finally physically beaten bloody in his alcoholic haze. It was in the hospital when the detectives really brought the point out. They said that I was so badly beaten that if I did not get out of the state he would come back and finish me off. Yes That Is What I Was Actually Told! That is how hard it is to change!  Finland Beckoned: Put me on Ice: I have a deep past inheritance of a continuation of consciousnesses.

I remember dressing like this out in the reindeer herds

What the circle in the Twelve-Step Program  gave me was a Palm Tree trajectory. I was removed from the abuse by a Poet Saint who helped me pack up and drove me to Sunny California! He saved my life and I will always be in his radius of loving attention. He supported my 12 step practice.

The 12 Steps are a set of guiding principles, accepted by members as ‘spiritual principles,’  outlining a course of action for recovery from the addictions that allow abusive personal habits and actions or other behavioral problems that attract like to like.

I am here in Berkeley California the home of the Chochenyo/Huchiun band of the Ohlone people. The Indian Rock, the Shellmounds, and Palm Trees support my feet as I strive to build a new life.

This pit in the surface of a rock at Indian Rock Park is typical of those used by Ohlone Indians to grind acorns.

My Heart is fully opened to flow with the continuous stream of a body within connections to indigenous peoples. I have great respect and gratitude to the struggles and smart ingenuity they exhibit to have built the Tools modern society use as they trudge the very rocky path forward. To couple into a loving family, we need to LOVE one another fully and simply.

Love One Another Is The Letter Of The Law

 

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