Conviction
If a thought grows out of the workings of the brain, then a Conviction is the guidance that grows out of the Heart. Integrity is a conviction of self esteem working with in a family and out to a community and our Globe, this blue pearl.
It is not a clever argument, a conviction is a firm belief. I believe that most often it is not verbally sharing a belief but the very living integrity that moves others into action. As a parent I had first hand proof that it was the way I moved, spoke, treated others, and lived my every day life that was the great teacher. It is my actions that I impressed on those under my care how to behave both in times of joy and those many times of struggle.
Just a few days ago while I was leaving an appointment I was told that she was glad I talked with her since I always leave her with a smile on her face! That could be none other than the conviction of joy in my heart that rounds out the sounds my words try to convey.
Conviction is a seed for understanding the infinite amount of time and energy each of us have to complete the thought, contained in a word and that string of words that brings people close to one another. The evidence is in the action that always speaks louder than words, thought without words we would all be miming with painted faces and stripped leggings.
I remember with great fondness the time I drove my dearest teacher and monks around on their errands. I would sometimes have a group of monks in my car on the way to the grocery store. There were times when visiting monks came to see my teacher and I was asked to take them window shopping. Most often they wanted to go to the poor part of town and look around in the thrift stores in that community. My teacher liked to go to great malls in various towns around where he lived. People who view their lives as Spending Time, learn by watching the way true meditating servants of the common good live, is a great adventure and gift in itself. This also taught me to watch how people mirror my behavior.
There were no words shared but the conviction that was taught, is to always want to see every part of the world with no fear. I walked with conviction born out of inner integrity where few choose to shop.
In fact, one day, long ago I was in such a very thrifty thrift store with three or four travelers when I found a big packing box of High Loft European Goose Down ‘Famous Label’ with the embossed coat of arms, (Ralph Lauren), king size pillows for fifteen dollars each! What a great surprise. The next day I went to Bloomingdales and found the regular size of this same pillow for three hundred dollars each! I guess it was not being afraid to window shop deep within the wrong side of the tracks! Probably these pillows were not sold earlier because the usual clients did not know what they were or their exorbitant usual cost.
The conviction in my heart is: we are all worthy people! No matter how much stuff we have or how much it cost.
Trauma
Something is tearing at my tender heart, it is a condition of life. I am reading a new book, Trauma, by the noted author Mark Epstein.
I warn you all that the font used is very small so you have to hold the book differently and really concentrate on reading. This book is helping me see as I struggle to move forward. I went to his book tour a few days ago. It was a real insight from a psychological view. His talk was very practical. Mark spoke from his experiences of eating mindfully as a simple act of not putting more food into your mouth until you have completely finished chewing and swallowing the first bite. My taste buds are singing as they send the good impulses to my brain which then tells my mind/body that good food is fuel for delight.
Then there is the physical brain, amygdala, over active that is the touchy function of our body mind system. This is the sentnal communicator of stress. One step at a time to turn your attention to the impulses is to turn toward Kindness; Be Kind to yourself.
Ask yourself, what does being kind to myself look like at this intersection. Find what will let you feel you are being Kind To Yourself and Do That Action. Being Kind to yourself is a source of awakening. Kindness is a light on this place you and I are going through, today in the here and now
Our understanding that living with and through a Trauma is NOT Fun. This is a source of connection that allows us, you and I, to care about each other and send our caring support out to all our friends and family.
Last night I painted my toenails. I have not done this in months. I just want to tip toe today with a small caring sparkle.
Emotions are as real as a table, sometimes hard and heavy, “without the hurt the heart is hollow”.
FREE FOOD Saturday
Naive Peace
Naive
It looks like I mistook Beef Stew for Prime Rib, yet again. Am I the only woman that has this loop action and reaction to social life with people? I am struggling to see the boundaries between the Layers of thought.
What is the Undercurrent of ‘a thought’?
Who is this person who is trying to find a mind body space to slip into for clarity of consciousness? How can I turn on the inner light, direct my mind, and find in that space an insight or knowledge of Peace? I want to know the meaning of peace as an integral part of all life. When will I start recognizing a pattern? What is the texture and size of the meat in the beef stew? My teeth now the difference as they sink into a bite of rare prime rib.
How do I manage to starve the desire that allows me to settle for the Beef Stew rather than wait until I recognize the nice juicy steak? Action is what is needed to starve the ‘seed’ thought at the root. I feel like I am on fire! I must Stop, Drop, and Roll to change the programming information to my amygdalae. It is this emotional learning, with an aspect of fear conditioning, that resonates, causing stimulation of adverse memories that predict the long term signaling of this little almond shaped part of our human brain.
In Terms Of Value, This Almond Is Exceptional
The present moment, the scene that is going on right now, is what must be realized, with an emphasis “on being here now”.
I am reaching toward the Gnostic rather than the dense personal identifier. So how realized can we be?
This moment could snap a complete realization in both the direction of particles and the music of Nature. I am listening to the Music of the Spheres.
Be Here Now. Here is another practical aspect of Mindfulness or attention to the Gap moment between the seed or root of thought and the brain. The value is being able to register that particular thought.
Like all of the steps you make when purchasing an airplane ticket.
Think about what you really want. Imagine that week after week as this dance with one another.
Any Minute Mindfulness
I am standing in the glistening azure water at the Lions Pool in a park in Oakland California. I have escaped from a family farces of verbal abuse that felt like a energy vampire had sucked all the joy out of my being. Now I was standing in the water saying to my self over and over, ‘I Am Here Now.’ It felt like heavy lifting. Just saying the words of this mindful sentence was like dragging an entire building of historical emotions into the proper receptacle. That was then and this is now. I was not going to get lost again. I had to tell myself that what had happened was not happening now. I struggled to take the time to look around at my surroundings and get my balance. I was working on being Mindful. At any minute now, I was mindful.
This is such a good thing! That the word Mindfulness has entered the main stream vocabulary. It is a sign the masses have a notion that they have a brain service station. At last I have some glimmer of understanding that my mind has some directing process in life.
Like driving in the evening, the headlights on a car serve to show us the path ahead. The actual understanding that our mind can function in this way to help us see where we are, and what is ahead, is a wonderful step. This is the first step for peacefulness. This works from the inside out for both the individual and global life.
This is True: Being A Good Person
Using the word, Mindfulness, in work places and in schools is a sign that populations are becoming aware of the existence of a mind. It shows there is an interest and hunger to become familiar with the concept of mind. What is this aspect of my being and what does it actually do? The inner thoughts and tools are very ancient. You can search the concept and how it developed in India.
HHDL gave a teaching this year which you can take time to watch:
http://dalailama.com/webcasts/post/288-opening-the-eye-of-the-new-awareness
It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.
~ Audre Lorde
For this, (Mindfulness), we have to forget things like “I should be mindful of this or that”. If you are mindful, you are already creating a separation (“I – am – mindful – of – ….”). Don’t be mindful, please! When you walk, just walk. Let the walk walk. Let the talk talk. Let the eating eat, the sitting sit, the work work. Let sleep sleep
Hurry up, at any minute I will be mindful!
Orgasm Life
Only Crazy People tell pregnant woman horror stories. Every woman who is having her first child hears almost all horror stories. In fact after I ask ‘is this your first pregnancy’ the look on their face is one of Oh No Not Another ! The I say it is only crazy people who tell you horror stories and that more babies are born than all the crazy stories.
Look around and see how populated the world is and each person has a Mother! It is like a spewing evil neon slime that has been festering in the biblical Dark Crow innards of unhappy people who never have or will forget the slightest paper-cut.
The kindest thing I can say is that these cronies are fearful of the unknown and want everyone to share in their pain.
Why don’t woman look forward to giving birth? The baby comes into this world using the same female organ which has the awesome Orgasm. You are feeling great and loving the orgasm process, why worry about the delivery?
Looks Like An EKG
The other day a wonderful friend came over just to touch base and catch up. It is so nice in what has become a societal norm of digital communication to have actual face time together. Research in Face Time is proving to be an important constituent for human health. I get to experience actual “I Like You” that brings the sunshine into my home and heart. It is a shared tenderness.
He came over to also tell me about a position he will be starting in a few days or a week. And I am delighted for him since this is something I truly wanted to enact three years ago. I get to see how an idea when placed at a certain intersection takes time to blossom. The real truth is knowing how to place the idea and just who to communicate with and what is the right time.
My friend is going to do a great service which will change the way the first group will think and feel. This seed will move out to touch the others through the contacts the beginners have in their world.
Mindfulness is such a buzz work that the idea of MIND and what that is gets lost in a path of attention. I have seen this in meditation training where hungry seekers are told to just sit still in funny positions and eventually the pain will subside. Is this the path to the inner world, REALLY?
Embarking on a Mindfulness path has to begin with some sense of this ‘mind’ to use in the practice. The Mind is a function of our human nervous system. It is the Thought Producing Pump. Take a look at an EKG. It shows various waves. It is the brain function in the same way that Blood pressure is the Heart function.
My brain pumps out 85 thoughts per second. Many of these thoughts are living communication from various parts of the body back to the brain. I am not consciously aware of all that is going on along my skin, but my brain is because of the communications system that is a traveling thought. Men have more sexual related thoughts every second than woman.
When I was invited to take a Citizens Police Academy 14 week class I learned that the police know that some men get aroused when a breeze moves their clothing. It is a part of this Mind Pumping thought producing that causes so many people to move into action with out giving it a thought. No real reason for doing or saying other than the urge pushed by uncontrolled thoughts.
The start and turn toward being mindful is grace. Your self respect is vital. Primarily, to take a time to look at and get to know what is going on in your mind. Before you try and struggle to control your thoughts about this and that, take time to actually look at the thoughts being generated. Sit and listen to your own scattered thoughts. Watch Your Mind. Close your eyes and see into the vast countryside of your mind as the thought butterfly flutters from this to that possibility.
Then you will be able to CHOOSE where to place your attention. You will not be struggling to stifle the process. Your mind and body will be moving together in the garden of delightful choices. You will choose to see the sun in your heart as a vast and calm moment of the true and real present. You will feel your body in your pants sitting on the chair. Since there is no struggle with any history or any desires for a goal in some imagined future, you will be in this present moment.
I look forward to continuing this conversation with all of you. Please write back with any questions or problems.
Start Swimming
Through the good fortune of Nature and Nurture, I learned how to enjoy water. Swimming is it’s own special reality. Being completely comfortable in the dense wetness focuses my mind. Will swimming do that for your mind? Sardine like I am sliding along with my society of swimmin’ humans, each swimmer is in a lane slicing along the surface. Summer is the time to join the Sardines.
Swimming is just singing along with your favorite song. The first thing is to get to know how you breathe. How long does it take for you to breathe in air and send it out of your body? I mean relaxing easy breathing. The step of being in rhythm with your easy breath is the bases of your individual singing stroke.
I remember when the idea of how long I could breath out was when I was in first grade. Every once in a long while I got to have chocolate milk. I wanted to have this experience last as long as possible. I had a straw made of hard plastic that had a figure eight and squiggles. I filled my chest and tummy with air and lifted the straw to my lips and blue out a stream to create glass circumference size bubbles. Blowing bubbles into my glass of milk has been a creative meal time activity for kids around the world.
It’s the way to start! Stand at the edge of the pool and put your arms out and hold on. Bend your knees and blow bubbles with your lips just at the top of the water surface. I suggest you do this for fifteen minutes at least with no distractions. So you can feel relaxed and knowledgeable as to the time you take to breath in and out. Once you understand this base line inner rhythm.
The rest of swimming is easy… It is the breathing under water that creates all the tension and resistance.
The legs kicking do a count of One Two Three Four to each in and out breath. Your arms do one stroke to two kicks of your legs.
Its One Two Three Four base which can be most songs with the One and a Two melody line and off you go out of the kitchen blowing bubbles in to the great wide world of water fun!
The Meaning Of Life
Man Know Thyself! I have heard this my whole life in one way or another. Where should I start? It is such a Gordian Knot of a puzzle! I have tried looking in the mirror to try and see who I am. I mean as though looking in the mirror would let me see under the boundaries I have constructed to swim with the zillions of people, beings, animals, and such that flow along and cross my path. I was hoping that by looking in the mirror I could see beneath the surface, under my skin and deeper than my muscles, sinus, and cells. Man know thyself is asking me to know what part of my complicated structures of my current self in this my Ira Glass idiom, “This American Life”.
Yesterday during my morning meditation, after years of deep wondering, as I have tried to peel the onion of understanding, one layer at a time I had an Ahh Haa moment. I suddenly saw that all the years of study about Dependant Origination snapped to attention.
The Bhavacakra (Sanskrit; Pali: bhavacakka; Tibetan: srid pa’i ‘khor lo) is a symbolic representation of samsara (or cyclic existence) found on the outside walls of Tibetan Buddhist temples and monasteries in the Indo-Tibet region. In the Mahayana Buddhist tradition, it is believed that the drawing was designed by the Buddha himself in order to help ordinary people understand the Buddhist teachings.
The bhavacakra is popularly referred to as the wheel of life. This term is also translated as wheel of cyclic existence or wheel of becoming. ~ Wikipedia
The center of the Wheel of Life holds three animals — the snake representing anger, the rooster, greed and the boar, ignorance – on a background of blue, which is as expansive as the vast open cloudless sky. Blue has, since the end of the Mycenaean culture, been a way to express the vastness of the infinite spacious nature of the human mind. Mycenae was a small fringe settlement dating from around 1600 until 1100 BCE. Most known for the Minoan fine-wear pottery are made from well purified clay of a buff color. The Ancient Grecian Phoenician eyes had not evolved the cones and rods necessary to see Blue. They represented their sky as buff orange.
Surrounding the central animals spinning in a seemingly endless circle of blue are half circles of dark and light areas. On the light side are representations of those seeking to lessen the effects of the poisons and on the dark side are those figures suffering due to the presence and intensity of the three.
I suddenly saw that Man Know Thyself is seeing the actual way that I as an individual express in thought and action my relating out from my personal accumulation of Ignorance. Each person has their own desires and fears which they bounce on to communication with the world. Now again, I feel the vibrating truth of “Don’t Worry, Be Happy!
Rewiring the System 